The title is something I just overheard in a commercial but it reflects about 50% of how I feel right now.
I recently lost a job to circumstances out of my control.
When I think of all the unfortunate things that come to pass, I remember the scene where Simon dies in Lord of the Flies.
“Towards midnight the rain ceased and the clouds drifted away, so that the sky was scattered once more with the incredible lamps of stars. Then the breeze died too and there was no noise save the drip and tickle of water that ran out of clefts and spilled down, leaf by leaf, to the brown earth of the island. The air was cool, moist, and clear; and presently even the sound of the water was still. The beast lay huddled on the pale beach and the stains spread, inch by inch.
The edge of the lagoon became a streak of phosphorescence which advanced minutely, as the great wave of the tide flowed. The clear water mirrored the clear sky and the angular bright constellations. The line of phosphorescence bulged about the sand grains and little pebbles; it held them each in a dimple of tension, then suddenly accepted them with an inaudible syllable and moved on.
Along the shoreward edge of the shallows the advancing clearness was full of strange, moonbeam-bodied creatures with fiery eyes. Here and there a larger pebble clung to its own air and was covered with a coat of pearls. The tide swelled in over the rain-pitted sand and smoothed everything with a layer of silver. Now it touched the first of the stains that seeped from the broken body and the creatures made a moving patch of light as they gathered at the edge. The water rose further and dressed Simon's coarse hair with brightness. The line of his cheek silvered and the turn of his shoulder became sculptured marble. The strange, attendant creatures, with their fiery eyes and trailing vapours busied themselves round his head. The body lifted a fraction of an inch from the sand and a bubble of air escaped from the mouth with a wet plop. Then it turned gently in the water.
Somewhere over the darkened curve of the world the sun and moon were pulling; and the film of water on the earth planet was held, bulging slightly on one side while the solid core turned. The great wave of the tide moved further along the island and the water lifted. Softly, surrounded by a fringe of inquisitive bright creatures, itself a silver shape beneath the steadfast constellations, Simon's dead body moved out towards the open sea.” ― William Golding, Lord of the Flies
No matter what happens in life, everything is insignificant in the stream of things. The world keeps turning. In the time leading up to my termination, I was sick with worry. When it happened, I was upset but, mostly releaved. I was free from the fear of what could happen.
I continue to be okay thanks to that quote. It reminds me that this event is one of millions, no matter how unfortunate it may seem now, it sun's still shining, times still ticking and my heart is still beating.
In my heart, lies a story
The story of a heart full of anguish
The anguish of a heart that no longer beats
A dying heart whose told no story
A story untold of a life unlived by anguish
I cast away my fear
I cast away my doubt
I cast away all anguish so my heart may still beat
Beating with the rythm of a live not yet lived
A story untold
A heart still beating and ever full of prose
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